Cold Feet: How To Dispel Those Wedding Day Jitters
March 25, 2015
So the big day is getting closer and closer, how are you feeling? Excited? Nervous? Or are you just plain scared? Having cold feet before your wedding is a natural part of the process as you weigh up all the changes that will befall you after you promise yourself to another for the rest of your life. It can be nerve-wracking but we have some tips on how to warm up your cold feet and dispel the worries.
Honesty is the Best Policy
It may seem like a seriously bad idea to tell your other half that you are nervous about the wedding or being married, but honestly is always the best policy. There may be aspects of your worries which your partner can help alleviate just with a few simple words. It is important to work out what it is you are really worried about – the actual action of getting married and the stress that goes along with being part of a wedding, or a deeper worry about some aspect of being married and part of a couple?
Before getting married, it is obviously important to know as much as possible about your partner, including their opinion on the more important things in life such as children, politics, future plans and career choices. However, there may be personality traits or opinions that only become clear shortly before the wedding. Some people are able to work past these differences whereas some may not be able to let go of the niggling areas of disagreement between one another. The best bet is to be completely honest and straightforward about how you feel and whether it is a good enough reason to be giving you cold feet.
Although society has changed in recent decades to allow women more power and say over when they get married and have children, there may still be pressure on both parties to fulfill what is expected of them. Regardless of the advancements in society regarding equal career opportunities, women do have a biological clock to think of. Men are able to father children well into middle age whereas becoming pregnant much later in life can be dangerous. It is important to think of whether the pressures of society and the desire to have children has something to do with your cold feet and why you decided to get married.
Marriage is a tying together of two souls and hearts and entering into such an institution with an ulterior motive could create feelings of animosity if either party feel they are being pressured into marriage in order to complete a rite of passage... such as becoming parents as quickly as possible. Marriage should be a celebration of love and entered into with the best intentions as the start of a lifelong journey.
Warming Up Cold Feet
A lot of people get nervous before the big day, the pressure of being on show for friends and family can be a major cause of stress for some couples. However, perhaps speaking to your other half will dispel some of those negative feelings; you may find out that your partner is having similar thoughts and will feel better knowing that they aren’t alone in the way they feel.
A quiet talk about what you both want from your lives can a reminder that you love one another and that problems can be solved with honest communication and good humour. If you feel the problems may run deeper than you first thought, talk openly before the wedding and make sure you are both on the same page. Remember the reasons you chose to get married and be mindful of the compromises needed to have a long and happy marriage. Cold feet needn’t be as scary as you think!