There is only so much you can do to make sure your wedding day goes according to plan.  Unfortunately, however, some members of your wedding party will be required to make speeches that you have no control over.  Here we take a look at some of the worst things that could be said during wedding speeches, courtesy of, prepare to cringe!


Unfunny Jokes

When it comes to speeches, everyone likes to think they are a comedian.  The best man may see it as his opportunity to embarrass the groom and the father of the bride may look at his newly-married daughter and suddenly be filled with an obligatory need for dad jokes.  Either way, there is a chance that many jokes will be met with tumbleweed and awkward coughs, so try and tell speech-makers to avoid jokes such as, “Remember when you said your ex was the love of your life? I’m glad you’ve found another one”.

Or perhaps the maid of honour wants to make a speech and thinks a few sex-related jokes might get people giggling.  Phrases like, “May the only ups and downs you have be between the sheets” may get the hen party laughing but grandma may not be quite so understanding!  Ask your speech givers to keep innuendo down to a minumum, or at least cleverly disguised as an in-joke.


Veiled Compliments

Yes there is a pun intended in this title!  Weddings are of course a time of joy and togetherness, but do not underestimate your single friends.  Whilst we would never suggest that your friends could be jealous of you on your special day, you may be subjected to a couple of compliments that don’t seem to make you feel that great. “I honestly don’t know how you managed to snag this guy, you’re so lucky” is a frequently used sentence, suggesting you're lucky to find love but that you might not deserve it!

Another issue may be that the person giving the speech is not particularly marriage-minded and may consider the whole thing a bit of a farce.  First of all, if you know that someone feels that way don’t ask them to make the speech!  However, if you do, you may hear something like, “Here’s to a thrilling life together watching hours and hours of television!”  Remember, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and you guests will probably see a little green-eyed monster behind the comments.


The Unmentionables

Then, of course, we have the unmentionables; these are the things from your past or elephants in the room such as ex-partners, that time when you broke up and got back together, or even the mention of cheating or divorce.  The speech giver may think these to be hilarious talking points intended on getting the crowd laughing, however you may be sat there going red in your best white dress.  “If it doesn’t work out, I know a really good lawyer” is a comment bound to make people feel a little bit awkward, particularly if either party has been married before!

Harking back to times best forgotten is another aspect to consider when asking someone to do a speech, if you aren’t prepared to have some embarrassing stories come out, it may be wise to pick someone who is a little more private and reserved.  The last thing the bride wants is for her maid of honour to be a bit tipsy and say, “Remember that time at uni when we made out?” This may cause a few blushes, particularly from family members, so request for any experimental or embarassing moments to be left out of the proceedings.

For the happy couple, a bad speech can ruin a big day, making people feel uncomfortable.  However, a good speech can get people laughing and ready to embrace the party atmosphere of the reception.  There is a lot of pressure put on the people giving the speeches, but they too should remember that they are celebrating the union of their friends or family, and the speech should essentially echo the way they truly feel about the couple.

Have you got any wedding speech horror stories to share with us?  Get in touch and let us know!